Monday, 28 October 2013

7 Secrets you should keep from your girlfriend

Sex score
Here is a gift for my male readers you will be thanking me for years *winks*
These are some of the things you should never tell the woman in your life... if you want peace to reign that is

Sex score

This question might come at you out of the blue, possibly when you’re mildly drunk and are whispering sweet nothings in your girl’s ears. ‘So how many women have you slept with?’ Don’t fall for it. Even it means it is an ego boost for you, don’t even think about it. This question doesn’t serve any purpose. If your score is more than hers or vice versa, either way you’re screwed. Just skirt around the topic. You could say, ‘Aren’t we having a good time?’ and follow it up with, ‘Why do you even want to talk about this? I’m not comfortable.’ 

The number of times you go solo

Its one thing to be open in a relationship, but quite another to tell her about the number of times you go to your room with a magazine and a box of tissues. She doesn’t want to know. Period. First, it is gross and second, it is too much information. Does she tell you how many times she changes her pads when she’s chumming, or would you even want to know?

You had a crush on her friend or her sister or her mum

Yes, as men, we might be accused of having roving eyes. We notice women, and sometimes, like to fantasize about them. As long as it is harmless, there is nothing wrong with it. We are human, it is natural to have such fantasies. But to go and tell your girlfriend about it? Nah uh! Never tell her, especially, if it is someone closer to her or even you

What your ex was like in bed

‘Well, here’s how she used to do it.’ It might sound quite innocent in your head, but oh boy, are you in trouble. Never ever bring past bedroom stories or stories about your ex into your present bedroom. You will pay for it dearly. And don’t you dare reveal your ex’s bust size in front of your girlfriend. I feel sorry for you if you’ve already let that one slip out.

Your insecurities

Yes, we know that you don’t like your hair, your nose, your height or the lack of it, the way your facial hair grows, and what not. But if you go on listing your insecurities, not only will she get bored, she will even dump you. So stop whining, man up and learn to live with your shortcomings. The girl picked you for some reason, right? If she saw all that you see in yourself, would she have chosen you? Think about it.

Pick up the damn check once in a while

We all want our woman to do that, right? Pick up the tab at a restaurant once in a while? But as a man, it has kind of become our duty to pay every time. We should never ask a woman to do that. If she does it of her own volition, you sir, have a winner. But as long as it doesn’t strike her, we can’t bring it up. So keep that secret desire, a secret.

Me time

When we didn’t have a girlfriend, spending time with the guys was fun. It took our time off the fact that we were single. It might have seemed pathetic once in a while, but it was okay. Now that we have a girlfriend, we want to go back to hanging with the boys. If you remember, Paul Rudd had such a horrid time in the hilarious movie, I Love You Man, as a guy who couldn’t make guy friends. Yes, we need time to go get pissed with our guy friends, crack lewd jokes, give some chest bumps, punch each other like we could never punch you, yell at Sachin for not scoring a century, and have that kind of camaraderie. But when you tell her you want to spend time with your buds, it might offend her.
Well that's all. Have a nice day dearies!

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