Sunday 20 January 2019

THOSE EYES




It was a beautiful night at the Trebek household. The whole family was having a delicious dinner prepared by Mark Trebek; Mark was an excellent chef which was one of the reasons his wife Susan agreed to marry him. Seated across the table from Mark was his son Lester; he regarded him thoughtfully before delivering the news that unbeknownst to him would change the trajectory of his son’s life forever.
“Les during the summer break I would love you to join me and your mum to Africa”
“Are you being serious Dad” asked Les because, like any fourteen-year-old boy, the most important things to him were video games, girls and fun; not some Africa.
“Yes, I believe it would do you a world of good”
“I’m sorry dad but I have a lot of things planned out this summer plus Jessica finally agreed to go out with me. I’m not blowing that up by leaving this summer.”
“Jesse would always be around, I want you to go with us so you can gain a better understanding of the world, you know gain some perspective. Life is not always about what you see. Plus, I promise it would be fun.
“Dad can I at least think about it” he sighed.

Les sat upstairs in his bedroom angry that his father will suggest this. He couldn’t leave Jessica now no, she was his lifelong crush and he wasn’t going to leave her not when he had just got her. He saw a shadow and looked up, it was his mom. A slight woman with gray eyes and stunning facial features all framed by rich, lustrous, auburn hair. He was very aware of how beautiful his mum was he often caught men and boys alike, unfortunately including his friends stop and stare. She stood by the doorway and asked; “Can I come in?”
“Of course, mom”
She sat by the edge of his bed and took his hands.
“I would really love you to come with us to Africa, it would mean a lot for your father and especially for me”
“But mom….”
“I promise it would be fun Les, you would see things you’ve never seen before and might never see again. The people are amazing, and you could learn a lot about their different cultures”
“But mom…...”
“Les look at me, I love you so much and I know this would be good for you. You need to experience something different plus it would look good on your college applications” she said with a smile.
This was the one person he would move mountains for, this was the one person he could never tell no.
“Okay mum but I’m not happy about it”
“That’s fine Hun, you will be” and with that she pulled him close and kissed his cheeks.
****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

They arrived at a beautiful land in Africa called Azure and after spending two days indoors pouting and playing video games Les quickly got bored and went outside. He was hoping to take a walk when he got stopped in his tracks. Approaching him was a sight he had never seen before nor had he believed he would ever see. This creature advancing toward him had gold skin, curvy full legs and rich black hair that defied gravity. She had on two piece of clothing one tied around her waist acting as a flimsy cover to hips that swayed while she walked and stopping midway through her thighs. The other piece of clothing covered her breasts although it was not doing a good job of it as they looked like they were about to burst through and be set free. She had a smile plastered on her face revealing a set of brilliant white teeth otherwise covered by full pink lips. Blood rushed to his other brain and it told him to tear off her clothes, he wasn’t going to do that. Something else however struck him as he kept staring; she had blue eyes. 
He was staring at her, but she still managed to startle him when she spoke.
“Good afternoon my name is Chichi are you Mr. Marks’ son?”
“Uhm, hi, I’m Lester, yes”
“Is he around? I heard he came, and I want to greet him”
“Um yeah I will let him know, whats your name again?”,
“Eh?”
“What-is-your-name?”
“Chichi”
He came out with his father.
“Chichi!” Mark exclaimed and they hugged “Come on in Mama is excited to see you”
“I’m so happy you are back I missed you, how is everybody in America”,
“I’m sure everybody is fine” he chuckled
“Chichi” Susan exclaimed when she saw her and hugged her affectionately
“Chichi this is my son Lester, Lester this is Chichi my African baby” she said kissing her cheeks “I’ve missed you so much baby sit we are about to have lunch”
“Thank you, Mama”
“You didn’t tell me you had and African baby mum” Les said after they were settled
“I always try to tell you about our trips to Africa but you always zone out” she replied with a smile; “Your father and I took a special interest in Chichi during one of our trips after we noticed that her life might be in danger shortly after she was born. You see she was born with blue eyes which is extremely rare for black people, her people thought she was cursed and wanted to banish her. Your father and I went through a lot of trouble convincing them otherwise. At first look one would conclude she has Waardenburg syndrome, but she is not affected by any of the other symptoms that follow it which is really a blessing for her. After convincing them, we also had to put measures in place to make sure she wasn’t hurt, and we’ve been coming back every year since then to check on her”.
“wow”
“Chichi here is very special and highly intelligent, she has always been our best student and her mastery of the English language is far beyond her peers” interjected Mark
“We are very proud of her and we are blessed to have found her”
“Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Trebek,” Chichi replied blushing.
“Maybe you can show Lester some fascinating things around town if you don’t mind”
“I will Mama, tomorrow morning, because I have to go to evening market with my mother today. We are making Ofe Ede, your favorite, I will bring it with me when coming tomorrow”
“That sound marvelous, can’t wait” squealed Susan.
********************************************************************************************************

That night Lester could not sleep. He kept thinking about this human he just met unlike any he had ever known. He knew he would not sleep until he saw her again. He was the one who opened the door when she came back at dawn. She was holding a beautiful earthen container and smiling her beautiful smile. He let her in; “Good morning” he said with a smile.
“Good morning Lester, your mama usually opens the door for me every morning, I was surprised to see you”;
“I think she’s still asleep, do you want to sit and wait for her”
“What?”
“Do-you-want-to-sit-and-wait-for-her?”
“Yes, sorry, you talk too fast”
“I'll-try-to-talk-slower”
“You are funny” she chuckled.

As they walked to the market square, Lester wondered about the scorching sun and how the people were not melting. Chichi wanted to take him to the market square first because they were a lot of beautiful things to see there and she was right. When they got there, he could literally feel the eyes of the people boring holes into his body
“Lekwa onye oyinbo (Look at this white person)” yelled a heavy-set woman standing over a table of tomatoes.
“Ehe Chichi, onye bu onye nka (Chichi who is this)”
“Owu nwa Mr Mark ochori ma obodo anyi (He’s Mr. Mark’s son he wants to take a look around)”
“Chai oma kwaranma oh, ochori zu akwa? (He’s handsome does he want to buy a piece of cloth?)’’
“Owegi ego ta, anyi ga bia achi (He doesn’t have any money now, but we will come back)”
And so, it went with Chichi showing him around the market and people either staring, touching or running from him. It was exhausting but also fascinating.
“You are tired, do you want to sit by the stream? It has shade”
“That would be nice”
“This is our main source of water”
He never thought people drank water directly from a stream, was it healthy, this people didn’t seem sick. “wow” he managed to mutter.
“Your mama said you were on holiday that’s how you managed to come this time, I’m on holiday too we will resume next month”
“I bet you can’t wait you must have lots of friends” he said considering how beautiful she was.
“No, I don’t, people call me mammy water”
“What is that?”
“She is the goddess of the river and she is wicked”
“You mean a mermaid, surely they know you are not some goddess mermaid”
“You don’t understand, mammy water has children that come in human form, they are usually very beautiful and fair skinned. If you are a very fair woman and strange things happen around, you then people will call you her child. I have blue eyes which the dibia has already said is cursed, he said I’m one of the most powerful children of mammy water. Men fear me, women hate me.
He was speechless, in his country this girl would have run the show everybody would have been flocking to have a piece f her.
“It’s whispered that I’m the most beautiful virgin in town but will never get a husband as no man wants the curse of the mammy water in their family. My mother was once the most beautiful virgin and she got married very early to the bravest hunter, I’m not even betrothed yet but I do not care I always have joy in my heart”
“That’s a shame, I think you are amazing, if I were a brave hunter, I would marry you” and with that they laughed.
Time passed and they grew very fond of each other, spending every waking moment together till it was time for Les to leave.
“I wish I would never leave, I promise I would come back every year to see you”
“I promise to never forget you”
And they kissed. It was innocent and very sloppy, but it was their first and they would never forget it.
************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************
10 YEARS LATER….

“Dude enough with the African magazines, Stacey’s on her way and did I tell you she’s expecting you to propose to her today?” said Thomas a boisterous young lawyer who happened to be Lester’s best friend.
“What, why would she think that?” Lester retorted mildly irritated.
“Err... because it’s your two-year anniversary and you are inviting her for a double date with me and my sweet heart whom I just proposed to”
“It doesn’t mean anything I just want us to have a good time today”
“Well she keeps hounding Emily about it and Emily keeps hounding me, put a ring on it if it means I can have peace”
“Ha ha very funny man”

Stacey was clearly angry and was doing a poor job of hiding it after their date. When Lester leaned in to kiss her at their apartment, she pushed him away. Stacey was a very attractive and intelligent blonde woman with a fit body and long lean legs. She was already a lawyer at twenty-four and was well aware that she was a great catch. She loved Les for his looks, the fact that he was a lawyer too and came from wealth, she felt they would make a power couple and even make it to the white house. She wandered what kept holding him back and what kind of idiot would not want to keep her on lock down.
“Come on babe don’t be like that you looked stunning today, easily the most beautiful woman in the room, I want you” he said as he pulled her close and leaned in for a kiss again.
“No” she pushed him away
“Do you even love me Les or have you just been leading me on”
“What do you mean, you are the only woman in my life I’ve been faithful and everything I do is to make you happy”
“It doesn’t matter we should be planning our big wedding by now”
“Babe, marriage doesn’t change anything plus we are in our early twenties don’t you think we need more time on this”
“We are not kids we both have careers and money is not an issue. I know what I want Lester Trebek and if you can’t give it to me, I will find a grown man who will”.
********************************************************************************************************

“Dude are you ok?” Thomas said bursting into the apartment, “I heard Stacey left you like a week ago why am I hearing this from Emily?”
“To be honest man I don’t even care, I keep waiting for the soul crushing heartbreak, but I feel nothing”
“Maybe you are still in shock”
“Try relief”
“wow”
“I know it sounds terrible, I thought I loved her, but something was always missing in our relationship…. I think I know what I need to do.”
****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

 After getting through the initial stares and whisperings Lester was finally led to his destination. It hit him again like the first time he saw her. This time her hair was fuller, and she was completely covered, in a white shirt and a black skirt that did nothing to hide her curves now more pronounced. She was teaching a group of kids and clearly enjoying every bit of it. He waited till the class dismissed. When she saw him she stopped and stared.
“Lester?”
“Chichi” and they hugged and hugged and hugged.
Then she pushed him away smiling, “You never came back”
“I really couldn’t, my father had a stroke shortly after we left and needed round the clock care, then I had to go to law school and life just kept happening. I never forgot you”
“How’s your dad now”
“He’s doing much better even walking with a stick”
“And mum”
“She’s healthy and happy”
“So, you are a lawyer now, that’s impressive”
“Yeah, what have you been up to Chichi I want to hear everything”
“Well I got a scholarship to study in the UK after my secondary education. I majored in English and now I’m back here to give back”.
“That’s very noble considering”
He stared at her brilliant blue eyes; “Chichi I’m very sorry for time wasted, I fear to ask this question, but I have to, are you with anyone”
“Oooh Mr. Lester” she cooed and after what seemed like an eternity “sadly it didn’t work out with anyone”
“Then please would you give me a chance, I can’t spend one more day without you, my life was empty and sad without you”
She stared deeply into his eyes like she was searching his soul and kissed him. It was passionate and intense, and they knew oh they knew that they would never be apart again.

For Matthew.


Sunday 13 January 2019

Mirror Image




It was a full moon outside as Nnenna looked up from her window. “something crazy is about to happen” she thought.
Her mother always said crazy things always happened during a full moon. She never took it seriously until today. She turned around to find her twin fast asleep, her beautiful sister Amaka with her rich chocolate skin, upturned nose and small lips all framing huge deep set eyes. She looked so much like her but was far more beautiful and far more amazing. She looked away. She always had trouble sleeping, her twin always slept before her she decided to turn on some music, that always helped her sleep. She turned it on real low especially not to wake her parents and lay down trying to drift off.
In the next room Mr. Ohakwe her father was roused rudely from his sleep and turned to face her mother, “Agnes this girl has turned on this music again, I thought we were going to get a break today”, 
‘And todays’ own is even louder” mused Mrs. Ohakwe
“Should I tell her to turn it down I’ve been having a headache all day”
“Whats the point”


This was one of the days Nnenna hated school or hated school more intensely. It was gym day today and as she walked down the hall with Amaka she was in no mood for the fearful, confused and pitiful stares she was accustomed to. No one looked at Amaka that way. Was it because Amaka was more beautiful and more popular? She was ready to lash out at anyone who made any rude comments. As usual, Amaka left her as soon as they walked in the hall greeting everyone and finally settling on her crush Michael. They both liked Michael but he had decided to date Amaka, of course he had decided to date Amaka.
She met Stacey at the gym, Stacey was a frail smallish girl who seemed like she was afraid of everything. They had formed sort of a friendship because Amaka brutally beat up a girl who was bullying her. She remembered it like it was yesterday.
It was a day in October when she was walking with Amaka to the bustop, suddenly Amaka stopped and starred at a scene playing before her. A bunch of their class mates had made a circle around poor Stacey making fun of her pushing her and calling her a snitch. It was only a matter of minutes before they would really start harming her. Amaka quickly dropped her bag and strode up to them asking what little Stacey ever did to them.
“Please stay out of this you and your weirdo sister” said Anne the leader of the pack known for her perpetually mean demeanor and double edged tongue.
“My sister has nothing to do with this, do not mention her again. Let Stacey go and pick on someone your own size for once”
“Are you kidding me? Get the hell out of here before I chew you and your demented sister up”
“I told you not to mention my sister again” and with a rage Nnenna had never seen before Amaka descended on Anne and unleashed the kind fury that cannot be penned on paper. The school authorities finally intervened but asides from the fury Nnenna saw she also sensed immense satisfaction from Amaka.
Nnenna got a suspension letter that day and her parents were called in the next morning.
“I’m afraid her behavior is getting out of control” Principal Lewis said to her parents peering at them through his thick glasses, “no little girl possesses that kind of strength and anger, I think without timely intervention she would have done permanent damage to that girl”
“Don’t you think you are taking it too far?, interrupted her father, his face like he was carrying the problems of the whole world on his shoulders, he certainly felt like that at least, “the two of them had a fight, Anne is known for being an unrepentant bully and don’t forget she has targeted my daughter for a long time calling her all sorts of names that you know is a trigger for her. I’m sorry for what happened and will try to reach out, but this was bound to happen based on her incessant harassment”.
“Mr Ohakwe are you trying to point fingers here or are you going to take responsibility for your daughter who just mercilessly beat up another child?”
“Of course, I take responsibility, I promise this won’t repeat itself she’s a peaceful girl it won’t happen again” he said a little more sober
“It can’t happen again if not I will have to rule her unfit to take classes with other children, I will arrange for her to see the counsellor everyday till he can report a significant change in her. You see we try to accommodate every type of child in this environment but you have to understand we cannot put other children at risk. One more time and she will be expelled”.
“I understand” he replied quieter still.
Nnenna was looking back and forth between her parents and her sister wondering how she also got the letter when her father bellowed “this cannot repeat itself, this is not how I trained you” Amaka nodded and buried her head, Nnenna looked up.
“Do you hear me Nnenna”,
“what did I do, I didn’t fight anybody”
“it doesn’t matter when you see her like that you control her, she’s your responsibility”
“ok” and she wondered yet again why her father never scolded her sister.
Stacey reeled her in from her reverie, “the game is about to start let’s take our positions”.

The next morning Nnnena was absentmindedly eating cereal getting ready for school when her mum came down with some pills.
“Good morning Mummy”
“Morning Nne, I have some vitamins for you, this your lack of sleep is becoming something else, you take one every day with breakfast ok, I know you don’t like taking pills but these are very important and necessary for your health, don’t make me stand here every morning and watch you take it because you know I will. Oya open your hand”.
She did as she was told.
“very good, you will see that you will start feeling better”
Agnes leaned into her daughter and spoke tenderly to her “You know mummy loves you and always wants the best for you right?”
“Yes”
“This will help you ok”
“yes”
She kissed her daughter tenderly on her forehead “I love you”

By the next week after school while Nnenna was sitting with her sister waiting for the bus when Amaka turned to her with such sadness.
“I will run away”
“What, why?”
“Mummy and daddy don’t like me”
“What do you mean Amaka, everybody loves you”
“No, they don’t, don’t you see how they treat me, always acting as if I’m not there, talking to you instead of me especially Daddy”,
“Daddy just does not like scolding you, you know he’s always angry”
“It doesn’t matter Nne, I’m leaving its too much if our parents don’t want me then they can have just you” And with that she stood up and started walking. Nnenna, stared at her for a while before walking after her screaming her name.
“Ami, come back you can’t leave me alone, what will I do without you, what the hell will I do without you! I’m nothing without you. You are a part of me I’m lost without you” she cried hopelessly with tears streaming down her face hopeless heart wrenching tears.

It was dark before she realized her sister was not coming back and she was lost really lost, she slumped under a tree staring, helpless, hopeless. Before long she heard footsteps and a police officer’s flashlight he saw her crying and crouched beside her.
“Don’t be afraid dear, I’m officer savoy, everything is going to be alright. What’s your name dear?
“Nnenna Ohakwe, my sister ran away and I’ve been trying to find her” she said
“Right” he said, and she sensed that he didn’t quite believe her like he was already told not to believe her.
“we will find her dear but right now your mum is worried sick”
He led her back to her mother who was heaving and her father with a desperate look on his face.
“Oh, my baby, are you ok? Are you hurt? what happened?  Mrs Ohakwe cried hugging her child tightly.
Amaka ran away mummy” she said bursting into fresh tears
Its ok that’s why the police are here they will find her and bring her back to us but now me must go to the hospital ok to see if you are really ok” she said wiping away the heartbreaking tears from her child.

It had been days maybe weeks that she had not heard from her sister Amaka and Nene mourned her daily and prayed earnestly that she would come back. She was so depressed she didn’t notice that she had not been going to school, she had in fact been confined into a room since she was found in the woods. Her parents were outside the room talking to her doctor.
“But you said the drugs would help her not turn her into this depressed morose thing. My child is losing herself” declared her father.
“Schizophrenia is a very complex disease’ explained Dr Weinstein patiently “the drugs were to handle the hallucinations and hopefully bring her back to reality. The fact that she lost Amaka means the drugs are working but you must give her time to come to, Amaka was her life and she is allowed to grieve. I wouldn’t call this a setback I would call this an improvement”.
“How long does she have to be here? asked Agnes
“As long as is needed for her treatment when she is no longer a danger to herself or to others”
Mr and Mrs Ohakwe looked into the room at their daughter and wondered simultaneously if their child their precious princess the only child they ever had would ever be normal.



Saturday 20 October 2018

The Woman in the Window by A.J Finn: Review


‘I know what I saw'. Do you really Anna, do you. It’s just all the booze and the pill popping it is only common sense if we believe you do not in fact know what you saw. You are an agoraphobic with severe PTSD also an alcoholic and an a fervent abuser of prescription medication I’m really at a loss to take whatever you say seriously particularly something so dramatic and detailed as the murder of someone whom you don’t even know what her name is but you claim is your friend. Someone whom no one has ever seen before.

A.J Finn no doubt is an excellent writer, I totally enjoyed his writing and story line especially because this is my favorite genre so if you don’t like thrillers especially psychological ones then this book is not for you. I also liked the sucker punch surprises he kept introducing throughout the book it added a lot of flavor to the story. Although I must say there were a lot of unnecessary scenes in the book like the sex scene what was that supposed to achieve? I’ll tell you what, nothing. Plus it was over before it even started but that’s a story for another day.

My main grudge with the book however is the main character. Did any one else find her extremely annoying and insufferable, I know she went through a lot  but as an avid reader of novels and a very sympathetic one at that I felt no ounce of pity or even empathy towards her I really disliked this main character even. If that’s what Finn was going for I think he did a very good job of that but I know that’s not what he was going for. Throughout the book, you would find that she makes several poor judgments too much for a doctor even absurd for a children’s psychologist that the ending will make you question if she was indeed a children’s psychologist or it was all in her messed up head.

I think Finn was trying too hard to prove a point that common sense seemed to be removed from the book everything about the book is totally against common sense. Going by what we learned throughout the book, it  was supposed to end the first way he made it look like it was going to end and that was quite a relief for me because that was what made sense. However, I guess that’s not the point of a psychological thriller huh, it’s supposed to give you the shock effect but the shock effect is supposed to make sense and make you look stupid right? Well, this one did not. It ended up being more annoying than it was meant to be and the more you think about it you would see that the ending is surprising because it doesn’t even make sense you don’t see it coming because it shouldn’t be coming, she is a children’s psychologist for Pete’s sake how can something you know so well play you so well too well in-fact.

The ending left me wondering if I was missing something. I wondered what just happened. Is it me  or….like bad sex you know or something along those lines.

A J Finn is brilliant but I just feel that everyone should have sat down and thought this through before publishing. On the flip side the book was entertaining so it was worth the read.

Saturday 11 August 2018

How’s the weather (a short story)

It was raining outside. Sally hated the rain. She couldn’t place why but she’s always hated it since she was a little girl. She was sitting right at the kitchen window of her home where she liked to have breakfast with Alex. That seat was now empty.

She suddenly remembered all the reasons why she hated the rain they came flooding back with such force that she forgot to breathe and found herself gasping for air.

It was three years ago when she was walking home from work because her car broke down. She thought she could make it home before the rain but of course the rain thought something else. When she was halfway through it came down with the vengeful force it only reserved for her and she immediately was soaked. She kept her head down and kept walking all the while cursing under her breath. Suddenly a car stopped and the driver came down with an umbrella in his hand.
“I don’t mean to startle you madam but it’s pouring rain and I just want to get you to your destination safely. I mean no harm”.
She knew he was talking but all she could see were the kindest  blue eyes staring right through to her soul.
True to his word he took her home and walked her to her front door, making sure she was in and safe. Throughout the ride home they never said a word to each other except when she told him her address.

Over the next week she kept receiving flowers from the same person with a beautiful note every time. It was always something kind, something uplifting. Then one day the mystery ‘flower-sender’ decided to leave his name this time and a number. She texted him. ‘You should take me out to dinner’.

At 8pm prompt the man with the kindest eyes was at her door again. She had forgotten just how stunning he was. It was an evening that shouldn’t have ended. Alex was the first man she ever really felt a connection with and she felt completely safe in his presence. This was a new feeling because she never knew her father and all three step-fathers’ she had, had all physically assaulted her to the point that she ran away from home when she was eighteen.

Alex was everything she never knew a man could be. He was kind, honest and utterly selfless that is why when he died she knew she was not destined to ever be happy.

It was of course a rainy day two years into their marriage she was home doing the dishes on a Monday morning because she took a sick leave. She was pregnant with their first child and it was proving to be a complicated pregnancy. The home phone rang. She cheerily went to pick it up whoever it was said she needed to get to Healing Hospital it was an emergency he/she said. In an utterly confused state she picked up her keys and drove down absentmindedly cursing the rain. She got in introduced herself and proceeded to wherever the nurse was taking her to. Before she got there the doctor intercepted her.
“Are you Mrs Blackmon”
“Yes”
“I’m Dr. Chike, I’m so sorry we tried everything we could your husband passed five minutes ago”
“What happened to him”
“He was hit by a drunk driver who is in police custody right now”
“I’m deeply sorry for your loss”
“What loss”
Then it began to dawn slowly on her; “Who the hell drives drunk on a Monday morning”, she thought “why is the room spinning so much, why can I feel my legs, wha…..”

She opened her eyes and the first person she saw was her mother. This had to be bad she only saw her mum when something terrible terrible had happened and then she remembered but she did not have enough spirit in her to cry. She wished herself to wherever Alex was but if only wishes were horses.

She later learned she lost her child the same day she heard the news. Everything became a blur to her, the funeral, the doctor visits, the therapy sessions, everything was just one big blur.

She stared down at the prescription pain medication in front of her at the kitchen table and she thought this time I will be with Alex and nothing will ever take me away from him again.

Saturday 30 September 2017

Why I will marry Bobrisky

 

Idris Olarenwaju, popularly known as Bobrisky was born in 1992 and was born and bred in Ebute- Metta, Lagos. This male Barbie doll has managed to capture the hearts of Nigerians despite his eccentric almost taboo lifestyle in a conservative, religious and hypocritical country. How he manages to stay alive beats me but then I remember….
Now back to my heading... I will marry Bobrisky because of these reasons;
 

 
  • Staying Power When I first found out about him I thought he would just fizzle away you know moment of madness and all that but no he has remained in our faces and gotten bigger too (kinda like the Kardashians but lets not go there). He is one of the most popular celebs in Nigeria and people even pay to follow him on snapchat something some legit artistes won’t even dare to do.
     
 
 
·         Makeup Dude applies makeup flawlessly on top such rough masculine skin. To do a professional makeup takes about an hour or so on a woman with normal skin that’s double the time with a rough male so he has to sit through two hours of makeup every single day of his life to keep on fascinating his fans. For me who thinks makeup is a lot of work dude has a lot of patience. We give him credit for that. 
   

 
 
 
·         Captivation He is a major traffic generator for bloggers even big ones like Linda. Everybody just loves laughing, judging and being vaguely intrigued by him and who his ‘bae’ is. For someone with such humble background he sure knows how to keep the interest of a nation.     
 
 

 
 
·         Fearless Now being Bobrisky takes guts hence the ‘risky’. In such a country as ours that deeply frowns and even has a prison sentence for something that most of the world has come to tolerate and celebrate, he dangles on the fence so fearlessly leaving us guessing is he or isn’t he, I for one think he isn't but he keeps rubbishing this theory day by day and unapologetically so.  

·         Started from the bottom Really it isn’t easy making it from a humble background in such a country but he made it yo. He did it by doing what; selling bleaching cream, being wild and being highly different. Venturing into a woman’s market and ultimately dominating. This dude will probably succeed at whatever else he veers in to do. He is hardworking, determined and smart. 
 


 
·         Audacity He’s got it. He’s transformed into this thing and owns it. He owns this persona with such audacity that he has been named a Barbie Doll. Which Nigerian girl has been named a “Barbie Doll’ …..exactly. But a young man is here owning it.  Image result for bobrisky rich

 
 
·         ClapBack The king  queen of clapback herself. He never backs down from a fight and he will rip you to shreds.   

·         Fame Dude is famous, duh, if not why the hell will I even consider marrying him.  Image result for bobrisky rich

 
·         Rich Most of his lavish lifestyle is fake that’s a fact but he still has some money. This guy is definitely not broke, he sure can back it up. His cream sells for $400 (N146,000) now if just 20 girls which is the very least number buys it a month he gets N2,920,000 at the very least from the cream a month not counting his snapchat which you have to pay N10,000 to follow him and like another N10,000 to take a picture with him when he’s on tour (whatever that means) and yes people actually pay this money. He also has modelling gigs and endorsements deals so for a 25 year old he is doing pretty good.   Image result for bobrisky rich    Image result for bobrisky rich  Image result for bobrisky house

·         He has Sense You cannot be all these without having sense you just can't. He has just subjected a whole nation to be fascinated by what they claim to hate. So yeah, kudos to him! 

Pssst I'm not actually going to marry Bobrisky but you enjoyed the read right?


          Bye loves have a great week ;)

 

Thursday 6 July 2017

Take Me (Fiction)



TAKE ME
Arms spread. I lay on my matrimonial bed. I looked around me, sheer luxury. The bed I lay on with its orthopedic mattress was imported from the U.K made with the finest wood with gold finishing by Nella Ventrina Italy. I had an Armenian carpet that felt like stepping on clouds and my vanity mirror was state of the art imported from Dubai.  I had the latest curved Samsung HD Television that I argued with Yinusa not to have in the bedroom, I didn’t see a reason why I would have a t.v in the bedroom when I had one in the den, living room and every other room for that matter. Yinusa my husband however hated quiet places he hated to stay still, like has was always running from himself, so yes, we had to get the t.v. for the bedroom because my husband always won and my husband was afraid to hear his own thoughts.

The reason he always won was not because I came from a poor background; my father was one of the tailors that worked in the design company where his family made their clothes. He heard me singing one day in the warehouse where my father worked amidst other tailors and the rest they say is history. There was no history for me however, because his mother never failed to remind me that I was in fact a lesser human being than every other member of the family including her rapist brother. I was poor and that was never my history it was my present and future.
The reason he always won, was because I am a very placid person, I don’t fight for anything and I hate confrontations. That is why even when his mother told me one day “So you allow only the maids clean my son’s house eh you are too big to do it abi, if not that we rescued you from the hands of that your father that sews rags for a wretched living where will you have seen juice to be drinking while people work for you” I couldn’t reply her. Not out of respect because the words that fought to come out said “If anybody should be ashamed its you, you that had an affair with your boss because of money and when you got pregnant you latched on to the fact that his wife couldn’t have children and frustrated her out of her home. That is how you came into money unlike my father that etches out an honest living making beautiful clothes which one of them is in fact what you are wearing” but because I didn’t have it me I just cried out of her presence.

Looking at the time it was 5pm and I was bored as hell. In between the fancy parties, vacations, soirees with top government officials and one celebration or the other honoring me to get money from me, my marriage was as lifeless as the limpness of a eunuch. I felt nothing for my husband. I married him because he was persistent and because he was rich, it seemed the sensible thing to do.
I stood up from the bed, put on my sky blue swimsuit, draped on a towel and proceeded downstairs to take a swim. When I arrived the pool area I had to catch my breath. The creature in front of me had ivory skin with buttocks the shape of perfectly pumped footballs and legs that would make any model green with envy. The creature turned and I could see breasts that filled out perfectly and a tummy that had the markings of an athlete. She wore a bright pink bikini and had just gotten out of the water. Kakushia looked up at me and smiled; her perfect white teeth framed on a heart shaped face and upturned eyes twinkled at me.
“Hello Toyeke”, she said with a voice like silk
“Hi” I whispered, barely trusting my voice
“The water is lovely”
I just looked down at the pool sheepishly in reply.
 I had always admired Kakushia; she was outspoken, confident and lived on her own rules. She was the opposite of me.
“Okay knock yourself out” she smiled while running her eyes over me slowly, oh ever so slowly before sauntering past me swaying her hips exaggeratedly like she always did. For the first time in three years, all the years of my marriage I felt conscious of my body and strangely, I felt a wetness between my thighs.

I was already seated at the dinner table when my husband came in. A tall dark god of a man. He had everything in the right proportion and knew it, that was why he always got his way with the ladies even as a married man. He put down his leather briefcase; it was Bottega Veneta’s Intreccio Imperatore Briefcase that cost him three thousand six hundred and eighty dollars. It was navy blue so you couldn’t miss it. He kissed me and sat down next to me. I had been waiting for him with his food set as that had been our ritual; he would come home 7pm and we would eat at the table with any other family member present at the time. In this case, it was his rapist uncle that joined us. I had put on a bright red low cut blouse showing off my ample bosom and a deep blue jean bum short showing off my straight legs thinking Kakushia would join us.
“You look ravishing sweetheart” Yinusa said, eyeing me hungrily, not that I appreciated it, our lovemaking lasted only ten minutes on average.
“Thank you love” I replied, feigning a blush. His rapist uncle ogled me wolfishly and for the first time I didn’t care, I was waiting for Kushia.
“Where is Kay”, my husband asked noticing his sister’s absence
“She said she has a birthday party to attend, she won’t be joining us”
“That’s too bad” I said wondering whether I showed too much disappointment, I wanted to go upstairs and drape on a wrapper.

July first was Yinusa’s birthday. We spent two weeks preparing for it. A chef had to be flown in from Thailand and we went to Paris to shop for our attires. I had a fitting done by Nina Ricci. The event coordinator was an overpriced young lady but I understood why Yinusa hired her, not because of her experience because judging from her age you could tell she didn’t have much but because she was a governor’s daughter and Yinusa didn’t play with making and keeping connections in high places.
The birthday party itself was a nauseating display of wealth both from our end and from the guests which comprised of former Heads of States, ministers, governors and internationally renowned business men. You would also find the highest bidding working girls with their magically transformed skin and weaves that made you wonder how they manage to lift their heads. Our expansive living room was decorated with purple, cream and dark red colors, in the center was a tall champagne fountain and at the far end of the hall facing the door was the two-million-naira cake flanked by a wall of white peonies, roses and gardenias that had to be flown in fresh that day. Five Nigerian A list artistes were billed to perform and I recognized one of them as she was sleeping with my husband last year. The buffet had food ranging from truffle macacini, clementine and vodka-baked salmon with beetroot crème fraiche sauce, sautéed chorizo with red wine, smoked fish and potato latkes sharing platter cheese and pesto whirls sole goujons with mango and lime dip to our very own rice dishes and swallow. After playing the role of grand hostess to a T, and the hall began to thin, I and Kay sank down on a plush sofa and bad mouthed all the guests while drinking punch.
“Hey babe I will be rounding up with the guys elsewhere” Yinusa whispered in my ears
“Have fun love” I kissed in reply
Within minutes the hall was completely empty save for the cleaners beginning their job.
“The emptiness of this room is getting to me, let’s go upstairs” I whispered to Kushia


I led her to my room and turned on the T.V. while we sat on the bed drinking and laughing at everything we saw on t.v. I laughed too close to her face and talked directly into her ears. I was saying something I can’t remember now into her ears when turned and kissed me. I felt my body awaken and I kissed back. She slid her hands down below and parted my flimsy Victoria’s secret while taking every bit of me in with her mouth. I wanted to scream. I felt an electric charge gaining up in me. I went wild. I felt feral as I let myself go and let myself free till there were colors, brightness and explosions.     

Sent in by
Cheri Coco

Saturday 1 July 2017

SKIN CARE TRAVEL HACKS


Few things are as fun as travelling, but being on the go can make it hard to stick to your skin care routine. So here are a few hacks for great vacation skin.
1. STICK TO GOOD ROUTINES 
Just because you’re going away, it doesn’t mean that you have to break good habits. Yes, packing bulky products can be tricky, particularly if you’ve only got hand luggage, but there’s a simple solution: samples. These small sachets, normally containing 10 ml of day or night cream can be bought online – perfect for mini-breaks. And, when it comes to your cleansing regime, simply decant your cleanser and toner into several 100 ml reusable bottles.
2. FAVOUR A MULTI-USE BALM 
Dry lips, hands, nails – you name it, a multi-use balm has you covered. Oriflame’s iconic Tender Care is a miniature pot of intensely nourishing balm that’s small enough to take away on your travels.
3. TREAT YOURSELF 
Post-plane skin is likely to be dull and dry – not pretty. So, we recommend a brightening face mask on arrival. Try a sheet mask – they’re designed to intensely hydrate your skin and add radiance, or look to a gel-based mask that will revitalise tired-looking skin in just over 10 minutes.
4. REDUCE PUFFY EYES 
Overnight travel is rarely restful, often leaving you with under-eye puffiness and dark circles. For an instant pick-me-up, leave your favourite eye cream in the fridge the night before travelling, and apply on-the-go. The coolness of the product will refresh and sooth tired-looking eyes.