10 Religious People I Hate

                                                                  

While I’m not the perfect person we will all agree that there are some nasty things people do that just leave us like WTH!!! In the religious category, here are the things some people do that just leave me with that uncontrollable urge to bitch slap the ‘demon’ out of them.... 

1.        A guy once told me about a girl that asked him why he doesn’t have morning devotion and there after urged him to pray with her. Now, what is wrong about this beautiful scenario....they were both naked on the bed (they had had sex the previous night). Now while I’m all for forgiveness and grace immediately after the ‘morning devotion’ they had sex again. I mean please help me understand here I thought when people pray they call upon the presence of the Lord and they are conscious of him....ok maybe not everybody then.

                                                                                          

2.    The day I wrote jamb I was shocked, now not because of the amount of ‘chokes’ people brought in and the disorderliness it was one girl that caught my eye; she came in with a scarf, bowed her head for prayers, almost knelt down sef, after all this if you see the long ‘chokes’ this girl brought out eh, oh boy! I freeze. Ok ok I guess the prayer was to beg God for protection while she cheated. My issue about this kind of people is that ‘choose ye who you will follow’ is it the chokes that you believe in or God (heaven helps those who help themselves). I’m not very sure you can equally believe in the two even though I beg to differ.

3.    This one is a classic; armed robbers praying before they go to rob. I thought it was all comedy until I read live news of how an arrested armed robber gave his report of his involvement and actually stated that “...they asked God to protect them and help them to get enough loot from their mission...”, after the mission one of his colleagues cheated him and there he was calling on God to vindicate him and punish his colleague for cheating him. For your information Mr. Armed robber, it is the God of the people you robbed that is vindicating them.

4.    This one just got me reeling. One day, someone I know came to me and told me that she was feeling somehow because she missed her period. However, she was worried but only a bit because her live in boyfriend was praying to God that she shouldn’t get pregnant; he usually prayed like that after they “did it” so she was a bit more relaxed. I think I have a better prayer point “God please help me to control my hormones since I’m so scared of the result”

5.    All these music artists that sing with nude ‘suggestive’ girls and then come out to yarn ‘na God na God’ I wonder if he was the same one who told you to show us porn in your ‘music’ videos.

6.    Actually going to church not to praise God or anything but to look for a husband I mean “WTH!!!” Chic, that is what made you wake up dress really hot (cause that’s the trend now) and go to church not to reverence your Maker for making you who you are, but to find that man who would take you home. I guess in your entire religious sojourn, you never saw ‘seek ye first the kingdom of God and every other thing shall be added unto you’. Thank you ma’am.

7.    Please my people it’s not everything that is an “attack”. If you have a headache after a hard day’s work it’s more or less stress not your village school of witches. A wall gecko is not a monitoring spirit. It’s an animal. Fair girls are not from the river, they are from the womb. And the list goes on and on and please...sometimes things are really what they are. Don’t bore us with otherwise simple things.        

8.    You are lying on your bed every day. You don’t want to hustle or you are too proud to start from scratch but you are very sure God will make a way for you (because Pastor said so). Congratulations you have tried.

9.    Women that believe in spiritual spermatozoa. Come on!!! I mean this has been on the rampage with the wicked men actually videoing these poor, incredibly unbelievably dumb women. WOW! These women are simply lacking common sense. Babe if you are desperate, don’t stop praying. Have faith or just go and adopt. That surely won’t kill you.

10.   And then lastly, the men that actually exploit these women. My 2 cents though, but I’m pretty sure it’s not wise to try to hide behind the cloak of God to exploit people. ‘Abi?’

 That’s all folks. My brother calls me a hater, eeeerrrm...we all have tags so...?

Have a nice day!